Other uses for wine

Q: Did you see that drinking wine could prevent colds?

A: <skeptical look>

Q: It’s on Newshub. Feel a winter cold coming? News study shows wine could be antibacterial

A: And how would it help if wine was antibacterial?

Q: It could kill the bacteria that….. oh… viruses?

A: Viruses. And where do you think the cold viruses live?

Q: Um. In your nose?

A: Ever got wine up your nose?

Q: Ok. Point. But later in the story it says “it’s not the alcohol or the acid that kill the bugs but rather the antibacterial properties of both red and white wine that help fight off both tooth plaque and sore throats.” So at least they’ve shown it works for plaque and sore throats

A: Not exactly

Q: In mice?

A: Not even.

Q: It’s bacteria in a dish in the lab, then?

A: Yes.

Q: Do bacteria even have teeth? And where did you find the research?

A: Basically same story was in the Edinburgh News and Maxim and Metro UK, and they all linked. Compounds in the wine kill some of the same bacteria that cause plaque and sore throats.

Q: That could be useful. How long did it take?

A: An hour.

Q: That’s a long time to gargle wine. Do they know what compounds in the wine have the effect? Is it these polyphenols and antioxidants we keep hearing about

A: They say it’s succinic, malic, lactic, tartaric, citric, and acetic acids, and that the polyphenols didn’t show any effect.

Q: But wasn’t it supposed to not be the acids?

A: It’s not just the acidity: the equivalent acidity from hydrochloric acid didn’t kill the bacteria.

Q: So it might not be directly useful, and it’s not a good reason to drink wine, but it’s still interesting new research?

A: The research was published in 2007. I’ve got no idea why it has resurfaced. Maybe that’s why the Newshub headline says “news study”, not “new study”

Q: Seems to reinforce the official StatsChat policy on wine, though.

A: If you’re drinking it primarily for the health benefits, you’re doing it wrong.